Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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