Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
