Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
