Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
