you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
