In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
