is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
