She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
