I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
