Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
