at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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