the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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