Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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