worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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