Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize