There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
