Ambien. No doubt about it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
