It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
