Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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