just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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