i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
