So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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