I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
