somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
