So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Green mimosas i think yes
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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