This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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