omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
