All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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