i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
