Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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