I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize