Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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