I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
