Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
