walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
