I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
