About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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