hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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