Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
