It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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