he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
foreskin is a definite game changer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
