1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
