Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
