Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
