just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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