We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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