it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
