Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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