It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
