I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
