He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
