sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
