Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
