Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she looked like the before picture.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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