Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
