I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
