How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
