It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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