He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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