Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
