Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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