The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
