she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
