So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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