Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
